As a player I have never understood why the ref's always get blamed when other players are cheating, or for other misconduct. Yes the ref's are there to control the game but this is a game of sportsmanship. Why do people feel that it is the ref's job to determine if someone is out? Everyone that complains the ref's miss this and miss that but they never understand that part of sportsmanship is to call yourself out. This should even be even more important at a tournament. So why is it that ref's get all the complaints when it is the players that are damaging the game?
My best guess is that players are looking for a ref to do what any ref does in any other sport, control the game. How many times have you seen a bad call in baseball where you can tell on TV that the player was safe but the Umpire called him out? Do you see the fielder saying "Oh hey Blue! I didn't get him. He was in there," and then pat the opponent on the butt to congratulate him? Heck no. The player takes the bad call and plays it off like he got him fair and square.
In football if Shawn Springs blatantly interferes with Randy Moss and Moss doesn’t catch the pass do you see Springs saying, "Oops! Sorry Randy, my team will give you the first down here." No! He will argue the fact that he didn’t interfere.
Cheating although not morally right is part of every sport. Michael Jordan was probably the best cheater of the bunch taking 3 steps every time he dunked and I never heard him give any of his points back. In fact most of us consider him the best that ever played.
So although I agree with you that the world would be a better place if players called themselves out, it’s the refs responsibility to do it. As a player your job is to win the game and do it without breaking the rules. It isn't to interpret if you have been hit or not, that job is up to the Ref.
Wiping is blatant cheating and should have a penalty of suspension. If a player is playing-on it is the responsibility of the refs to get that player, like any hit player out of the game. Refs that fail to pull players are what people complain about most when it comes to bad reffing.
If there are no refs present it then becomes the players responsibility to ref themselves, but if your playing at an organized event, unfortunately cheating is part of every sport. Thus the phrase “It isn’t cheating unless you get caught.”
I hope this helps,